Nah.  Shake it off big fella.  Maybe these deliveries are a result of catalog shopping?  Probably not.  In that case, I should be elated that many more people are joining the crusade for creating a better life for one and all by acting locally and ordering globally.  I am elated, I am elated (keep repeating this to yourself ten times before every meal or snack and before you go to sleep).  But, what in the world are they up to?  Are they keeping their own online shopping diary?  I need to get their signature on a petition form for blocking off the street for a block party this fall, so, while asking them to sign the petition, I'll just casually say "Madge, dishwashing hands again?  I know of this wonderful skin-soothing cream that you can get online.  Oh, foolish me, you probably don't shop online much, right?"  Ha ha, I'll have my answer.  Or will they be coy?  (Well, you see doctor, it all began when I was a little boy who read all of the advertisements in the newspaper before I would read the actual news content...no, I don't need to be anywhere for the next six weeks....)

And now for something completely different (I feel that I better mention that I believe Monty Python made this line famous -- again, I don't want to have to suspend or fire myself for plagiarism -- but golly gee, it sure ruins the flow of this diary entry):
Amy must have somehow sensed my neighborly plight as she fired up Amazon this evening and ordered four items -- the books "Harriet, You'll Drive Me Wild!" by Mem Fox and Marla Frazee, "Papa's Song" by Kate McMullan and Jim McMullan,  "How Do Dinosaurs Say Goodnight?" by Jane Yolen and Mark Teague, and the video "Buzz Lightyear of Star Command: The Adventure Begins."

When I saw her doing this, I kept thinking "wow, this is the mother of my children and my wife."  Anyway, I let her know that I had a five dollar gift certificate from our buddy Jeff Bezos and that we should use it.  In addition, I said that I wanted to take a spin around and see if I wanted to add anything to the order (ah, there they go again, setting up a business model that is going to be profitable -- the ToysRus.com deal should make it pretty clear to everyone that Amazon will be integrating some customer accessible bricks into their business model at some point).  I thought about getting a 32" television as free shipping is being offered and our 27" television is on the fritz (this would certainly be easier than bringing it into a repair shop).  Amy nixed that one -- I don't think I would have really gone through with it, although, as a man, I feel a special affinity for large screen television sets.

I cruised the toy store quite a bit, of course, and, in the end, decided that I really did not need anymore Batman items.  I also cruised Amazon's garden shop and they did not have mulch.  After that fertilizer purchase, I really wanted to get mulch.  I finally decided to get a charcoal chimney starter (scroll down to item number 14) by Weber as our current one -- a no name brand I believe -- is getting a tad rusted out, which is our fault as we have left it out in the rain on many occasions.  Chimney starters are awesome when it comes to heating up the coals for grilling.  All one needs to get the coals going is some newspaper and a match -- throw out your charcoal starting fluid (unsafe at any speed -- oh, didn't Ralph Nader say that?  Isn't he running for President?  I wonder if he has an online campaign store?  Gore and Bush would skewer him on this pivotal issue if he did.  Whatever.)  Incidentally, the chimney starter usually ships in about 1-2 weeks whereas the other items all usually shipped anywhere from 1-3 days.  As we tend to order our shipping with the "wait until everything is packed before you send it" option, I asked Amy if she was ok with this or if she wanted me to order the starter separately so as to not slow down the order.  She said it was fine as she didn't need any of the items immediately.  I mentioned to her that I would not be surprised if Amazon were to send out the chimney starter separately as a courtesy (assuming that the starter's time to shipping will indeed be much longer than that for the other items).

The September 12, 2000 issue of Business 2.0 contains an article by Beth Snyder Bulik titled "Most Visible Players" (pages 114-118) that discusses MVP.com and their three celebrity endorsers -- Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky and John Elway.  Maybe someone we know is quoted in the last paragraph of the article and has one of his quotes "called out" in a large font at the top of page 118 -- "The roster looks good on paper.  Having big names out front does not guarantee success."  Remember that.
 

Luis Castillo RBI Watch (Through August 15, 2000)

Number of Hits......Batting Average......Number of RBI......Runs Scored
......134.......................355............................9........................77

Luis went 3-4 with no rbi as the Marlins chewed up and spit out the Los Angeles Dodgers 7-3.   He led off the first inning with an infield single (so, new?); in the third, he was walked with Dempster on first and no one out.  In the fourth inning, he, again, led off the inning with a single (to center field this time).  Luis slapped his third single of the game to left center field with no one aboard (i.e., no one on base) and two down (i.e., two outs).  In his final at-bat, he struck out in the eighth inning, again as the leadoff hitter.  (These data are obtained from ESPN.com.)

J.T. The Brick gave high praise to the Marlins in his broadcast last night (it airs in the wee hours out here on Beantown).  I've never called the show in the 4+  years in which I have been a listener (I started listening when Ben was born in 1996); I just might call in and discuss Luis Castillo.  I hope I do not have to insult callers from other cities and yell at the top of lungs (if you've heard the show, you'll understand).  Maybe I could call from the basement or go out to the car; that way I would not wake up anyone in the household.  Hmmm, maybe it would go something like this..."JT, I am sick and tired of everyone teeing off on my Marlins.  They may not have the high salary of many other ballclubs, but I can assure that they have heart that is unrivaled by any other; and that includes your beloved Yankees.  And while I'm here Cheesesteak, you can take your Phillies and flush them down the toilet.  I am so disgusted with the lack of respect that the Marlins get, it makes me sick.  They may not win the Series this year, but hey Red Sox and Cubs fans, at least they won it recently.  Anyway, I want to talk about Luis Castillo.  He shows up every night to play and no one even knows his name (I'd be thinking to myself, la de da de dun dunt, making your way in the world today takes everything you've got, taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot, wouldn't you like to get away, sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name...).  JT, he leads the league in stolen bases.  He has the third highest batting average in the National League.  His on base percentage is awesome.  And he is on pace to get into the history books for fewest rbi by an everyday player.  His teammates must be proud of him.  Place him anywhere else in the batting order and I would not even be calling your show.  I'm sure he would love to be bat second or third, however, he knows that he best serves the team by sacrificing his rbi performance and batting leadoff.  That's it Brick; I'm out."